This line was used on one of my favorite shows. It is used in a different way then I am using it now. But the importance is no less.

I want to no longer be a disappointment to the people in my life. I want to love and be loved in return. I want to be wanted. I want the one man in my life to respond to my emails.

No, I am not perfect. Yes I am human and have many imperfections, but I do have feelings and my heart is hurting worse than it has in a very long time. Rejection hurts more than I could have possibly imagined. I originally said I had nothing to loose. I had no idea what I was saying.

P.S. I probably shouldn't have posted this on here but honestly I had to get it off my chest.

This weekend I attended a piano recital for my niece and my nephew. While getting ready for the recital Betsy was doing Elinor’s hair. Elinor looked at her mom and told her that she was beautiful. She commented that her dad was handsome. She stated that her brother was handsome and that both of her sisters were pretty. Then she stated, “And I am not.” Now when Betsy told me this story it just broke my heart. That my beautiful Elinor would think that she is not as attractive as those around her.

The reason that Elinor feels this way is due to the fact that she looks different from the other members of her family. Now what Elinor doesn’t realize is that this is not a bad thing. It just is different.

The world puts an emphasis on a certain type of outward beauty. That according to what we see in movies, television, and magazines we should look and act that way if we want to be considered beautiful or attractive and if we are different then we must not be attractive or beautiful. Well I want to say that I know this is not true. We are all beautiful individuals. We all have features that bring out something beautiful about us. And sometimes it is the differences that make us beautiful. If you are holding a bunch of flowers and one flower is a rose and one is a daisy and one is a tulip. Are any of them ugly? No! They are all beautiful but each in their own way.

So to my dear Elinor and to anyone else out there who wonders about their appearance and whether or not they are beautiful. You are a beautiful child of God and He loves you. He has made you the individual that you are and just because you might not look like the model on the cover of a magazine or have a figure like the girl standing next to you in line at the store doesn’t mean you are any less beautiful.

May each of us remember what truly makes us beautiful and embrace it!

“Avoid evil talk. Do not take the name of the Lord in vain….

“Choose your friends carefully. It is they who will lead you in one direction or the other. Everybody wants friends. Everybody needs friends. No one wishes to be without them. But never lose sight of the fact that it is your friends who will lead you along the paths that you will follow….

“The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand.”

I have always enjoyed a good movie. I love sticking in a dvd and curling up on the couch. I enjoy going to the theater to see a film with a good friend. Unfortunately sometimes the options to watch are not good yet if we are careful we can enjoy an uplifting and edifying story with characters that have strong morals and come out of the theater feeling good about what we just watched and sometimes even wanting to be better because of it.

The things we allow into our lives can make a huge difference on who we are and the choices we make. One of my favorite movies is a film called Penelope. Penelope tells the story of a girl whose family has been cursed and the result of this curse is that she is born with the nose of a pig. In order to break the curse and have the nose removed Penelope must be accepted by one of her own kind. I won’t tell you the entire story but I can tell you that every time I watch that movie I finish it feeling better about life.

And as great as it is to find a good film, it is even better to find a good friend. To surround yourself with good people who uplift and edify you. So to my true friends ... Thank you for being you. Thank you for helping me see the good in myself and the world around me. Thank you for making me want to be better.

“Mind you, these are not my words. These are the words of the Lord who loves you. He wants you to train your minds and hands to become an influence for good as you go forward with your lives…. Be smart. Don’t be foolish. You cannot bluff or cheat others without bluffing or cheating yourselves….

“There can be no doubt, none whatever, that education pays. Do not short-circuit your lives. If you do so, you will pay for it over and over and over again.”

Education is such an important part of our lives that I feel I have always taken for granted. I have always loved learning new things yet rarely applied myself when it came to school and my classes. I mean no one likes doing homework or taking test but I especially detested them. I did attend college and received my associate’s degree, but a goal that so far I have failed to fulfill is to earn my bachelors degree. Eventually I hope to be able to do this but the older I get the more obstacles seem to be standing in my way. Yet I watch my friends who sacrifice and are earning their degrees through night classes and do homework and studies on the bus or train.

I think that other ways to educate ourselves come through the gospel and in the form of talents. We can constantly be bettering ourselves and striving to do more to educate or minds and spirits. May each of us cultivate ourselves by gaining more knowledge.

“Walk with gratitude in your hearts, my dear friends. Be thankful for the wonderful blessings which are yours. Be grateful for the tremendous opportunities that you have….

“Thank the Lord for His goodness to you. Thank the Almighty for His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, who has done for you what none other in all this world could do. Thank Him for His great example, for His tremendous teachings, for His outreaching hand to lift and help. Think about the meaning of His Atonement…. Pour out your heart to your Father in Heaven in gratitude for the gift of His Beloved Son.

“Thank the Lord for His marvelous Church restored in this great season of history. Thank Him for all that it offers you. Thank Him for friends and loved ones, for parents and brothers and sisters, for family. Let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless your days and nights. Work at it. You will find it will yield wonderful results.”

I have so much in my life to be grateful for. I have one of those personalities that has a tendency to see the negative a little more easily than the positive, but I know how much good is a part of my life. I have a stable job. I have a cute apartment to live in. I have a running car to help me get where I need to go. I have healthy organs. I live in a place where I can see four temples each day. I have many talents that I enjoy. I have a good ward filled with great people. I have some of the most amazing friends who I truly love. I have a wonderful family. Most importantly I have the gospel of Jesus Christ as a part of my life. I am blessed and I am indeed grateful.

This image is very fitting and leads me into telling you about a person that has become a very important part of my life the past six months.

A few months after I joined my new ward I was assigned a set of visiting teachers. The first month they came only one was able to make it. While we were talking she found out that I had an interest in the Twilight series of books and she commented that I would definitely get a long with her visiting teaching companion. The next month the companion came but the other one didn’t. This is the day I met Cindy. We started talking and I asked her if she was the one that liked the Twilight books. Her face lit up and we started talking about the books and some of our thoughts and feelings about them. Well two hours later we decided we should probably do the spiritual message. Well we could say that the rest was history.

The thing is our friendship has developed past just our common interest in Stephenie Meyer’s books. Cindy has become one of my best friends. She is a good listener, she is fun to run errands with, we discuss gospel topics, she is a shoulder to cry on, and truly cares about my well being. I consider myself truly blessed to call her my friend.

My friend and I continued on our way. We wondered to various locations throughout downtown before coming to Gallivan Plaza. Here we were approached again by a rough looking individual. This time the man asked if we could help him as he needed some money for food. I looked at the man and asked how much he needed. He said about fifty cents. I pulled out the coins that were rattling around in my pocket and dropped them into the man’s hand. He was grateful and we went about our way. My friend stated that I had just “Paid it Forward”. I just smiled and kept walking.

This was an odd experience.